Writer : Sehajta Kaur, New Delhi
‘From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, “I survived.” ’ ~Craig Scott
It was just another day, and I got to read a story. A woman from a business-oriented family, got married, and it was a love marriage. The business was worth millions. After some time, her in-laws started pressuring her for transferring the business to her husband’s name. She denied it, as it was her father’s company, and she knew that whatever was happening, was actually a dowry practice.
The time she denied, they started threatening her, and soon things got physical. She became a victim of domestic violence. She explained all this to her parents, but they asked her to adjust; as for them, it was already a “love marriage” and if she gets divorced, society would pass comments, especially for the fact that she got married by her own choice. Also, for them, it was a matter of dignity since they had a certain reputation in the market.
Time passed and the woman could see marks on her face and brutal cuts on her body caused due to the unimaginable pain she was bearing for months. At last, her neighbor helped her get divorced and get rid of all that trauma.
My question is, why is it a big deal if a marriage fails, especially if it’s a love marriage? Why is it that if she tries to speak out against a toxic marriage, she’s not a fighter, instead a failure? Why do we make comments like “she couldn’t work it out” or “That’s what you can expect from a love marriage”? What’s the point of calling an arranged marriage successful only because the woman doesn’t leave for the sake of her family’s reputation and holds silence?
Why do we ask our daughters and sisters to hold silence against these situations when even the law considers them a crime? Why can’t we feel dignified by the fact that such a courageous woman was raised in our family who took the nerve to step out of a toxic and abusive environment, instead of criticizing her for her decision?
An estimate by WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION says that about 1 in 3 (30%) of women worldwide have been subjected to either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime. Children growing up in such families may suffer a range of behavioral and emotional disturbances.
We talk about our ethics; is it ethical? We talk about our culture; is this our culture? We feel proud for our religions; is this ever taught by our religions? Is our social status worth our daughter’s trauma? Is our reputation worth our sister’s bruises?
Ask yourself, Is that the upbringing or environment you want to give to your children? Is that how you wanna raise them? It’ll all change the day you get your answer, the answer that is moral and ethical.
Remember, Helen Keller said, “Although the world is full of suffering. It is also full of the overcoming of it.”
BoldVoices.in 
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